Noel Gallagher - XFM Scotland - 9th January 2006

http://www.xfm.co.uk/Article.asp?id=161790


To commemorate the launch of Xfm Scotland, Noel Gallagher came onto the station to talk with Breakfast DJ Dominik Diamond, who found the Oasis helmsman in typical form.

Speaking to Dominik on the new Xfm Scotland Breakfast Show, Noel set about looking back over some of the rather more controversial statements he’s made in his past, and quite impressively managed to offend a whole new collection of people.

First subject matter was KT Tunstall, who Noel recently slated, seemingly by accident, just before Christmas. And now, bless him, he regrets it,

“I gotta say this,” he starts, “I was in Q magazine a while ago slagging off KT Tunstall, and I was kind of shocked at that cos I’d only been speaking to her ten minutes before and I don’t really mind her music and she’s a really sweet girl.

“I really didn’t mean to lump her in with James Blunt, it’s just that she plays an acoustic guitar. I apologise for that cos I thought she was really cool but I was kinda horrified. I was like ‘Oh no, I didn’t say that?’ cos she was alright and she’s not as bad as James Blunt. He’s rubbish.”

Dominik also steered Noel’s sights toward Bloc Party (a band his brother Liam famously described as “A band off University Challenge”) and a comment he himself recently made about them saying “A band that constantly describes music as interesting makes me sick to my f**king stomach.”

“Every time I read an interview by that shower,” Noel clarifies, “It’s like they’re talking about their favourite music, ‘Yeah, I heard a Bjork B-side that was interesting…’ People that analyse music? It’s either good or its bad. So it either makes sense to your brain or it doesn’t.

“There’s no such thing as interesting. I’ve never sat down and listened to a record and gone and analysed it that much that that I was ‘interested’. It’s like, put it on and within two minutes you’re going, ‘Its rubbish, turn it off, turn it off!’ or stick it on again.”

There was no way Noel was going to get away without justifying his famously controversial quote where he hoped Damon Albarn and Alex James from Blur would catch AIDS and die.

“It was kinda a bit of a stitch up by the journalist,” Noel explained, “I was in this dressing room after we played Irvine Beach in that Big Top, and we were all f**ked taking drugs - she was taking drugs an all, and I won’t name her on the f**king radio because that’s probably not the best thing legally to do - but I kinda thought we were speaking off the record, but of course there was a tape recorder on.

“But, there you go. I obviously don’t wish that… A bad cold I should have said. Flu maybe?”

Noel Gallagher - Elle - 2006

...Why Northerns do it better?
N:Northerners are better at football and music,they dress better and have got better accents.They have a greater sense of identity family,community and who they are.And that's why they do it better.

...What is guaranteed to make you laugh?
N:Seeing a dog sticking its head out of the window of a moving car.That tickles me in a way I can't explain.And dogs in hats.You can't beat that.

...Why your girlfriend says you're the most unromantic person of your generation?
N:Because I don't cry at soppy things and have to be forced to be romantic for birthtdays and Valentine's Day.But how can you call the man who wrote Live Forever unromantic?It exasperates Sara that I'm a gruff northerner.Massaging girls' feet?F*** right off.

...How many guitars you own?
N:At the last count 97.If I see a guitar in a shop,regardless of whether I've got four of them,I think "I've got to have one in that colour".When they ask"Would you like to plug it in?"I say"No, but have you got a mirror?"Then I stand there and go "That looks f***ing great!"

...If you've been lost for words?
N:My gast has been flabbered on more than one occasion and it usually involves Liam.We were on tour with Black Crowes-the lead singer is Mr Kate Hudson-and her mam,Goldie Hawn,came into our dressing room.Liam said"Was she in that film about the army?"I said"Yeah and Liam went up and said"I really loved you in Saving Private Ryan".I said"It's Private Benjamin,tou lunatic"

...When you last went dancing?
N:I was a bit of a mover back in the day at the Hacienda,but as soon as you become famous you have to stop dancing.It's a rule.Because people are like"Isn't that guy from that group?Look the way he's dancing,the ####."

...How to make a cup of tea?
N:I am widely regarded as one of the greatest tea-makers to come out of Manchester.It's got to be a mug,preferably white.You need two teabags per mug and if they say"I don't take sugar","You f***ing do in this house".When you add milk,the tea's got to be the colour of the round toffees in Quality Street.

...What you couldn't live without?
N:My missus.She sorts my life out6:When I say that to her,she says"Have you been drinking?".But if she were a possession of mine,she'd be the last thing I'd give up.

...How Hard is it to give up fags?
N:I've never tried and I'm not going to.Even if I get lung cancer.Smoking looks cool.It particulary looks cool if you're wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses.You're telling me anything looks cooler than that?

...How far is it too far when it comes to male beauty routines?
N:I'm a traditionalist.People say"It's alright for men to wear nail varnish now:"Well,no,it's not.Or"It's alright for men to wear sarongs".Again no it's not.It's not even alright for men to wear flip flops.Flip flops and the word latte,make me uncomfortable.

...What the greatest lesson you've learned is?
N:Between the ages of 15 and 30,go mad.Go bananas.But when you get to 30,settle down.If you carry on in your thirties and fourties like you were in your twenties that's not right.I remember going to the Hacienda,seeing people who were 35 and thinking "You wanna go home Granddad".Doing Es at 35?If you don't stop when you're 30,you have to stop when you're 35.

...How To avoid the blues?
N:Borrow someone's dog,put it in the back of the car and put its head out of the window.